Book review: Hard boiled Wonderland and the End of the World by Haruki Murakami

Hard-boiled Wonderland and the End of the World by Haruki Murakami has two narratives. The hard-boiled narrative involves an unnamed Tokyo data processor who works for an entity called the System. He becomes involved with a scientist and his granddaughter after the scientist hires the narrator to launder and shuffle his research data. 

I never trust people with no appetite. It’s like they’re always holding something back on you.

The parallel end of the world narrative is set in a walled city where people are separated from their shadows and lose their minds. In this world the narrator is hired as a Dreamreader. The two narrators are linked by the Tokyo protagonists mind being shuffled into the end of the world.

I wasn’t particularly afraid of death itself. As Shakespeare said, die this year and you don’t have to die the next.

The story is as weird and layered as the title, but also totally engaging (despite a little sexism and cringe worthy fatphobic language at times, though it was first published in 1985). Speculative fiction and magical realism meets hard-boiled detective story. There’s even unicorns.

Huge organizations and me don’t get along. They’re too inflexible, waste too much time, and have too many stupid people.

Hard-boiled Wonderland and the End of the World explores subconsciousness and consciousness, how identity and memory are formed by the stories we tell ourselves, and fate and free will. There’s a whiff of Kafkaesque and Orwellian existential meditations…

Onomichi, Tomonoura and the Shimanami Kaido

The further away from the main tourist spots we’ve travelled, the more I’m enjoying this trip. After the Hiroshima area we headed to the port town of Onomichi.

ONOMICHI and TOMONOURA

Onomichi is a small seaside port that spreads up the surrounding hillsides where temples (25 in total) and shrines are dotted between houses along steep narrow streets. The view from the top is magnificent and the town reminded me a little bit of Hobart before it was gentrified. Our hotel had a rooftop bar that served chips that the barman smoked by attaching a hose to a transparent dome secured over the bowl and pumping smoke onto them!

Onomichi is a town that draws artists and creators and has featured in a number of films including Yasujiro Ozu’s classic Tokyo Story. The town also has a strong association with literature and poetry with 25 literary monuments along the Literature Path.

the artist’s job is to grasp the simplicity, precision, and simple individuality of single materials and assemble them into a work of art

– scholar Rai Sanyo

We spent a day exploring the town – making our way up the hillside, checking out the temples and monuments on the way to the museum of art, and exclaiming at the magnificent views over the Seto island sea, and then caught the ropeway back down the hill. In the flat part of the town there is a thriving undercover shopping arcade with a variety of shops and eateries and street performers.

On our second day we caught an old yellow ferry under towering bridges, past ship building yards to the sleepy port fishing town of Tomonoura. It was a perfect sunny day to explore the tiny winding streets lined by dilapidated buildings, junk shops, medicinal alcohol traders, excellent Italian lunch fare and a bakery advertising the

Japanese take on Monte Blanc. Tomonoura has also been used for filming countless movies and TV dramas including The Wolverine staring Hugh Jackman, and is the setting for the amine Ponyo by Director Hayao Miyazaki.

SHIMANAMI KAIDO

Onomichi is the starting point for the Shimanami Kaido cycling trail that connects Japan’s main island of Honshu with Shikoku via bridges across six islands in the Seto Sea. The bridges all have seperate bike lanes and the entire route is marked by a blue line painted on the road. The ride takes in the spectacular scenery of the islands and winds through local villages.

We set off on hired e-assist bikes and rode the section of the Shimanami Kaido cycling route from Onomichi to Omishima Island – mile after mile of beautiful island views. I find the forests really interesting here as the diversity of vegetation gives it a beautiful texture, the likes of which I have not seen in Australia.

We stopped for lunch and to check out the very unusual and colourful Kosanji Temple on Ikuchijima Island. The temple belongs to the Honganji Sect of the Jodo Shinshu School of Pure Land Buddhism and was founded in 1936 by the industrialist Kozo Kosanji. He built the complex over a 30 year period in dedication to his late mother.

Kosanji was a bizarre place with underground tunnels filled with macabre depictions to illustrate the tortures of Buddhist hell from which you emerge to a massive Buddhist statue. At the top is the Hill of Hope – a marble garden construction using 3,000 tons of Cararra marble. I was gobsmacked by the whole dedication and am pretty sure Freud would have something to say about Kosanji’s relationship with his mother!

On Omashima Island we stayed with an older lady in her house (Guesthouse Farmor). She drove us to a local onsen (Mare Grassia) overlooking the water. The Japanese love their baths and they are great at the end of a long days walking or cycling. This was the best one I’ve been to yet with hot/cold indoor/outdoor baths, a sauna and a salt bath. We ate at a tiny ten seater very cool Japanese restaurant called Gagaku.

The ride to Imabari the next day took in more magical views and the longest bridge I’ve ever crossed at 4.1km. I would rate this as the best bike ride I’ve ever done and highly recommend it regardless of your cycling fitness. The e-bikes make it easy.

MATSUYAMA

The next couple of days were largely transitionary. There was a visit to the Imabari towel lab, home of the best fluffy towels in the world, then a train journey to Matsuyama to pick up a rental car. Matsuyama wins the best castle prize so far with the most impressive dry stone walling I’ve ever seen. There is a unique chairlift to get to it, more spectacular views from the hill made literally of plastic chairs attached to a post.

After picking up the car we took a spin down the coast past the most scenic train station in Japan, to the sleepy little town of Ozu also known as the Little Kyoto of Iyo. The Hiji River runs through the town and the place has a frozen in time vibe with fabulous 1960’s signage and paraphernalia.

We have found ourselves in a part of Japan that has a Mediterranean feel and a relaxed vibe. I am also happy to say our itinerary is taking a slower pace also!

Kyoto – Koyasan – Horishima

KYOTO

Kyoto is a beautiful city but it is suffering from a bad case of overtourism. The issue left me feeling sad for the locals (they must resent it) and because of this I would not go back unless tourism dropped off. Having said that we did have a lovely couple of days by avoiding the most popular tourist spots and getting up very early to avoid the crowds.

The moss gardens at Gio-ji temple were a green oasis and Kyoto station is a wonder of engineering and worth some exploration including to see the spectacular views across the city from the sky garden. The Museum of Kyoto is worth a visit. We learned about the Jōmon hunter-gatherer peoples, a Japanese First Nations group and saw the History of Kyoto Exhibition that included several volumes of the Lotus Sutra scrolls from the 11th century. We also had a beautiful meal at Kiyamachi tofu restaurant near the Kamo River waterfront – it requires pre booking.

Tip: Google translate is invaluable, don’t leave home without it.

KOYASAN

Our next destination was Koyasan. The train journey is via Osaka where we walked down Doutonbori street which is a a smorgasbord of neon and noise with a carnival atmosphere. I noticed at the train station locals were much more interested in engaging with us than in Kyoto, likely an indication that tourism is not overwhelming the city.

From Osaka we caught a train, a cable car and a bus for a slow ride into the mountains and the centre of Shingon Buddhism, first introduced to Japan in 805 by Kobo Daishi. The Koyasan area has a number of World Heritage Sites including the Garan temple complex.

I felt my nervous system relax immediately after the amusement park like atmosphere of Osaka. Koyasan is a very beautiful mountainous area with pilgrimage walks, monks singing in the early morning and not too many tourists. We stayed at the Saizen-in temple lodgings which was well located and comfortable and provided tasty vegetarian meals.

Koyasan is also home to Okunoin Cemetery established in 835 in a beautiful conifer forest. It’s worth getting up very early and arriving at the cemetary at first light when it has a special atmosphere.

I could easily have stayed in Koyasan for longer and would like to go back there one day, perhaps for a retreat and to do some of the pilgrimage walks.

HIROSHIMA

From Koyasan we transited to Hiroshima. Of the major cities we have visited, Hiroshima had the most relaxed feel and was not overrun by tourists in the way Kyoto is. You can smell the sea and there are multiple big rivers running through the city which is easy to get around on foot or via the tram, train or bus if you have a Suica card.

We visited the castle (reconstructed after the 1945 atomic bomb) which is five stories high and surrounded by a moat. The castle contains a museum about the history of the castle and the and has panoramic views of Hiroshima from the top. Walking through the grounds containing ruins provided the first sense of the 1945 atomic bomb destruction. There is a tree in the grounds that survived the nuclear bomb – a eucalyptus melliodora – mind blowing when you consider the destruction caused by that event.

Within walking distance from the castle are the A-Bomb Dome (a building destroyed but left standing as a peace memorial), the Peace Memorial Park, and the Peace Museum. The remembrances to victims of the nuclear bomb dropped by the USA on 6 August 1945 were very moving and made even more so by the large number of school children visiting the sites. Groups of children sang to the Children’s Peace monument and surrounded us as we walked through the museum. To collect our thoughts and reflect on the Peace Museum we sought out the Social Book Cafe Hummingbird, a cafe established for people to gather, connect and discuss social issues. They serve nice herbal teas and sweets and are very welcoming and friendly.

SANDANKYO

About an hour by bus from Hiroshima is Sandankyo. The town is small and has a very remote feel (think north west Tasmania), and is the gateway to Sandankyo Gorge. The gorge runs 16 kilometers along the Shibaki River through thick cedar forests, jade coloured pools, steep moss covered cliffs and waterfalls, and is part of the Nishi-Chugoku Sanchi Quasi-National Park. A walking track hugs the gorge and we followed it about 8.5 km to Sandandaki Falls, a three tiered, 130m waterfall. We had perfect weather conditions for walking and finished the day with tired legs but full bellies after a beautiful meal proved by a couple of the local ladies at the Kawamoto Ryokan where we stayed. It was convenient, basic and comfortable.

Tip: if you go to Sandankyo make sure you check the bus routes and timetables as they can change and it’s not a place you want to get stuck without a place to stay.

MIYAJIMA

We woke up to rain at Sandankyo and hopped on a bus – train – ferry to Miyajima (Itsukushima). Miyajima is a popular tourist island not far from Hiroshima with the well known Itsukushima Shrine built over the water with a massive orange torii gate in front. It is said that the Shrine was built on the coast because the entire island is a deity to revere. Historically it was taboo to die or give birth on the island and there are still no cemeteries or hospitals as it is believed they would damage the islands purity.

Walking the streets alongside the wild deer after most of the tourists have left is beautiful and it’s worth staying the night to avoid the crowds. In the morning we took the ropeway cable car to the top of Mount Misen which has a fantastic view, though there was low cloud when we went so we couldn’t see much, the ropeway is a great experience in itself though. We stayed at Mizuha-so near the aquarium, which I would happily recommend.

Tip: Miyajima gets loads of tourist traffic. The best times to be there are late afternoon and early morning, so if you’re thinking of going it’s worth staying overnight to dodge the worst of the crowds.

Tokyo to Kyoto and the Nakasendo Trail

My Japan trip with two long term friends is a logistical extravaganza with 20 stops in 36 days using every means of transport available. Our first week was made up of several days in Tokyo then a night in Narai-juka before walking part of the Nakasendo postal route then heading to Kyoto for a few days. What follows are the moments that stuck with me. I have also added a book review at the end

TOKYO

We had a soft landing in Tokyo. It was a Saturday night yet the airport felt empty and we glided through customs and onto a Shinkansen (bullet rain) to Tokyo with Japanese efficiency. The train systems are a labyrinth of efficiency, logically organised if you can understand the colour coded system and extraordinary feats of engineering. Getting lost in subways is standard for tourists (and some locals) and we did spend sometime wandering the underground in Tokyo and Kyoto until we got our bearings.

Tips: download the Suica app before you leave and load some funds on it for easy train ticketing, to book on Shinkansen and the Narita AirPort Express. You can also use it in some convenience stores. Download google maps – it uses the subway colour coding and is invaluable to find the right subway entries and train connections, and always allow time to find your platform – it can take a while. Try and avoid catching trains at peak hour as they can be extremely crowded and stuffy (one of my friends actually fainted).

We visited Oedo Antique Market overflowing with treasures including ornaments, tea ceremony bowls, kimonos, clothing made from beautiful hand sewn silks, indigo dyed denim and assorted nick-nacks. The Japanese are generally quite reserved so I was surprised when an elderly lady stopped us and wanted to chat about what we had purchased and show us her items, but I had a sense she was lonely and saw us as a safe way to connect.

Later that day we walked around Ueno Park which had a lovely community feel with musicians and young creatives selling their wares, a massive lotus pond, the Kaneiji Temple and several museums. Then we wandered around the old neighbourhood of Yanaka, one of the few areas still containing traditional buildings as it was spared from bombing during WWII.

We stayed in the quiet residential neighbourhood of Arakawa at TokyoNEST Nippori hotel near the train station, and conveniently across the road from the Saito onsen, a public bath. At the end of a long day’s walking we crossed for a soak. The bath was fabulous but we did experience our first real cross cultural challenges. Understanding the towel vending machine was confusing, we didn’t have enough coins for the lockers (a kind old lady lent us one) and I had to be shown how to make the hairdryer work. Luckily the local ladies were extremely gracious with us clumsy foreigners though I am pretty sure there was an undisclosed inner dialogue behind those polite facades.

Tips: the public baths are generally tattoo friendly, while many private ones are not. Arrive with a good handful of 100 yen coins to hire towels and use lockers and hairdryers.

Other Tokyo highlights included Jumbocho book town and the cherry blossom tree lined Meguro river in Nakameguro, the centre of cool and Japanese hipsters where we had lunch at a funky Thai restaurant called Krung Siam. This area also has a large Sky Garden – a massive colosseum type structure with vines growing up the outside and an entire garden in the roof overlooking the city. It’s a great spot to escape for a quiet moment. A short train ride will take you to the poetic Rikugien garden in Nagaracho which is lovely to walk around too.

Tip: If you are there during spring cherry blossoms or autumn foliage time, the Rikugien gardens are lit up and kept open until 9 p.m

KISO VALLEY

We made our way via three trains to Narai-juka past narrow pointy mountain peaks covered in dense green jungle pushing up from the earth to reach into the clouds. We passed valleys dotted with villages and cemeteries and farmlets growing vegetables, the outbuildings being consumed by the forest. Narai-juka is a beautifully preserved post town on the old walking route that connected Edo (modern-day Tokyo) with Kyoto during the Edo period (1600 – 1868). The trail is 540 km long and has post towns dotted along the way for travelers to rest and recover. Walking around Narai to check out the historical buildings, shrines, and a beautiful wooden bridge was around 7km all up.

We planned to walk a couple of sections of the trail from Narai to Yabuhara Station over the Torii Pass, then from Nagiso to Tsumago and Magome. Most people walk south to north, we did the opposite and set out early. This meant we did not get caught up with other walkers much and mainly encountered them toward the end of each day – most importantly going in the opposite direction so we didn’t get stuck with the constant chatter of other walkers.

In Narai-juka we stayed at the Iya Kankou Ryokan situated in a 200 year old building with an internal garden where we had delicious traditional Japanese meals. We headed out early on the Torii Pass which has and some magnificent views and we caught the first signs of autumn colours (no bears). This part of the walk is only about 7km but it’s an uphill and downhill and took about 3 hours.

From Yabuhara we caught a train to Nagiso and had lunch at Cocono Cafe. It was run by very elderly women and had a vibe of Japan fused with an English tea house. I can recommend the soba and yam soup, a local specialty. After lunch we walked on to our next stopover just past Tsumago along narrow winding roads through old villages. Our total walk that day was around 15km.

Tip: if staying around Tsumago order dinner and breakfast with your accommodation as other options are limited.

The next morning we ended up having a hamburger from a vending machine heated in a microwave for breakfast which was surprisingly palatable and fortifying. On vending machines – they are everywhere. Particularly good to get a coffee – hot or cold.

The final leg of our walk to Magome was around 12km along cobbled paths and dirt trails, past waterfalls, through cedar forests and bamboo copses alongside the ghosts of Samarai. We stayed at the beautifully restored and generously provisioned Magome guesthouse with an outdoor hot tub and plenty of hammocks to relax in while we watched the sun set and ate a meal ordered in by our host.

Magome-juku is a pretty mountainous historic town. Streets are lined with traditional buildings and there are a number of places to eat – I can recommend the oyaki (steamed dumplings) filled with pickled vegetables or marinated eggplant or sweet chestnut and steamed in what looked like a system of 19th century hinoki cedar drawers.

After a fond farewell to our very generous host we boarded a bullet train that took us to the big smoke of Kyoto at 275km/h where we had a sunset wander along the Kamogawa river and a picnic from 7-11 at the close of our first week.

Tip: you can get a really good take away meal from a 7-11 in Japan for when you can’t be bothered looking for a restaurant.

Book review: Convenience Store Woman by Sayaka Murata

After marvelling at the 7-11’s in Tokyo and Kyoto it was fitting that I read Convenience Store Woman by Sayaka Murata during our many train journeys in between gazing out the window. This is a story about a woman called Keiko who does not fit into Japanese societal expectations as she does not get the strict social mores and says and does things she should not.

The normal world has no room for exceptions and always quietly eliminates foreign objects. Anyone who is lacking is disposed of.

As a child Keiko kept getting into trouble for her literal approach to life – on one occasion pulling the teachers skit and pants down as her shouting was disturbing the children and she’d seen it done on TV and make women quiet. Her family worry about her and she does not have friends and when she tires of always getting into trouble she decides to stop talking outside the home.

At eighteen she gets a job in a local convenience store. Here she finds a place where she fits as they provide extensive training and a manual on how to behave and what to say – it’s the first time she feels like she understands how to be human. The job provides a sense of being a useful member of society.

So the manual for life already existed. It was just that it was already ingrained in everyone’s heads, and there wasn’t any need to put it in writing. The specific form of what is considered an “ordinary person” had been there all along, unchanged since prehistoric times I finally realised.

But Kaikos family still worry, she is now 36, childless, and never had a boyfriend. Her family still want to fix her. Enter Shiraha, a hopeless unlikeable man who wants a wife to support him so he can just stay home and breathe. Keiko sees an opportunity and asks him to move in – she will provide what he wants, keeping him like a pet, and his presence will make her appear more normal.

I am one of those cogs, going round and round. I have become a functioning part of the world, rotating in the time of day called morning.

Convenience Store Woman is a story about an autistic woman in a society that has strict conformist social rules that do not make any sense to her. Keiko tells her story in a classic pragmatic, deadpan way, explaining how she learns to be just to fit in as it makes life easier, not because she cares.

Review in transition: Sweet Bean Paste by Durian Sukegawa

When I hear stars whispering at night I feel part of the eternal flow of time.

― Durian Sukegawa, Sweet Bean Paste

When I travel I like to read literature and watch movies from the place I am visiting to promote immersion in the culture and deepen my understanding of a place through the creative lens of local artists. On the plane on the way to Japan I watched Sakura, a mystery-thriller about an investigation into the death of two young woman, one a journalist whose friend Izumi works in the police PR department and believes she may be responsible for her friend’s death after revealing some insider information.

All experience adds up to a life lived as only you could. I feel sure the day will come when you can say: this is my life.

― Durian Sukegawa, Sweet Bean Paste

In keeping with the genre Sakura was tense with a twisting puzzle like plot. But the thing that most fascinated me about the film was the language and dialogue. People were softly spoken and there were many silences and pauses in conversation that left empty space. I love that silence is valued as a meaningful part of dialogue in Japanese culture. The spaces in conversation also contributed to the film’s tension and made me wonder about what was not said.

I began to understand that we were born in order to see and listen to the world. And that’s all this world wants of us.

― Durian Sukegawa, Sweet Bean Paste

The trip also allowed time to read Sweet Bean Paste by Durian Sukegawa. The novel follows the development of a friendship between a mysterious old woman named Tokue and a man called Sentaro after his release from jail when he is running a dorayaki shop. They bond over perfecting the making of bean paste, and that represents their growing connection.

If all you ever see is reality, you just want to die. The only way to get over barriers, she said, is to live in the spirit of already being over them.

― Durian Sukegawa, Sweet Bean Paste

In Japan people with leprosy were forcibly isolated in sanatoriums up until 1996, preventing them from participation in society. The Sweet Bean Paste reflects on stigmatisation and prejudice in Japan, and the importance of having a purpose in order to be a useful member of society. What happens when societal prejudice prevents you from purpose?

People’s lives never stay the same colour forever. There are times when the colour of life changes completely.

― Durian Sukegawa, Sweet Bean Paste

In keeping with other Japanese literature I have read, the story focussed in on the day to day and the pace of Sweet Bean Paste was laconic.

It’s my belief that everything in this world has its own language. We have the ability to open up our ears and minds to anything and everything. That could be someone walking down the street, or it could be the sunshine or the wind.

― Durian Sukegawa, Sweet Bean Paste

The reverence of silence was prominent again, however in the written form we also gain insight into what is not said by the narrator – his prejudices, desires, insecurities and hopes. So overall my transit left me contemplating the idea of what is said and what is not said, a theme that I suspect will accompany my entire journey.

If I were not here, this full moon would not be here. Neither would the trees. Or the wind. If my view of the world disappears, then everything that I see disappears too. It’s as simple as that.

― Durian Sukegawa, Sweet Bean Paste

You may have guessed by now that my blog for the next few weeks will be reflections on my travels. If this is not of interest to you, come back at the beginning of December when I will return to my regular reviews, otherwise follow along on my journey through Japan.

She said that was the only way for us to live, to be like the poets.

― Durian Sukegawa, Sweet Bean Paste

Book review: Love Objects by Emily Maguire

Love Objects by Emily Maguire is not an easy read. The novel shines a light on the dark side of class relations, the challenges of the mental health condition hoarding and what is means to care for family with mental illness.

As Nic said, second-hand clothes were like day drinking, government handouts and having a lawyer: classy if you’re rich, proof you’re trash if you’re poor.

Forty-five year old Nic, a childless department store check out chick living alone in her inherited childhood home collects random stuff. She falls after climbing onto piles of things to reach a hook to hang something she collected on the way home from work and injures herself badly. Unable to move she drifts in and out of consciousness. Childhood memories keep her company, triggered when she spies an old tiara under her bed.

People have died of sadness, Lena knew. Was this what it felt like, just before?

Lena is Nic’s niece. She lives hand to mouth at the Sydney university where she studies, hiding her economic disadvantage from her wealthy peers. She meets and has sex with rich boy Joshua not realising he is filming them. He posts the video on the internet and despite hiding Lena’s face, she is recognisable by a large scar on her arm.

No such thing as custody rights to your sister’s kid. No matter how destroyed you are by her absence.

Will is Nic’s nephew. After being released from jail for drug offences, he has a relationship with a woman who has children by someone else. He loves this life, but is cut adrift when the woman ends the relationship and he heads south to Sydney to see his sister and aunt. He is trying to deal with a rotten tooth that gives him a lot of pain but he cannot afford a dentist.

Will, she texted, how have we gone all these years and not known our aunty is completely and utterly batshit crazy?

Lena goes looking for Nic after she doesn’t turn up at a lunch date and finds her semi-concsious in her house so crammed with stuff that emergency services have to cut a path through the clutter to get her out. Nic is a hoarder. While Nic is in hospital the house is deemed a health hazard by a social worker and Lena agrees to deal with the contents so Nic can return home. Will arrives and helps Lena finish the job.

She puts today’s newspaper on the kitchen table, where it slips about for a few seconds before settling nicely. It would sit on the kitchen table until she had a chance to finish reading it, and if that hasn’t happened by bedtime she will put it with its colleagues in the hallway, waiting for a day when she has more time, better concentration.

Love Objects has a third person narrative divided between the three main characters – all of whom are dealing with their own losses, but the central focus is Nic’s hoarding disorder and how the three characters respond. Maguire offers great compassion to her characters through her compelling writing and this carries the reader through a difficult read.

Not Just a Dog

There is a unique bond between a dog and their person.

A canine can have a quiet solid presence lying by you on a sleepless night. They motivate you to get up in the morning and take time in nature. They teach patience and the true meaning of loyalty and unconditional big love. They make you laugh when you don’t feel like it, and introduce you to strangers. 

I had to say goodby to my beautiful, gentle big girl Harper on Tuesday evening this week. I am heartbroken but so grateful to have had her in my life. 

Harper (named after Harper Lee, author of To Kill a Mockingbird) was advertised on a rescue site in 2018 as a puppy destined to grow to a medium size. When I met her, the size of her feet made it evident I had been drawn in by false advertising, but it’s impossible to leave such a beautiful abandoned puppy once met. 

So Harper came home and I set out on a journey with a dog destined to weigh 46kg and stand around 750cm at the shoulder. As a puppy she was a mouthy monster, but a lot of socialising and dog school turned her into a well mannered but sometimes cheeky giant loved by all, and a pleasure to have around. When fully grown she was taller than me when standing on her hind feet.

Harper was a lover – of all people, small dogs, lie ins, bushwalks, bin day (for sniffing), rolling in fresh grass, her lifelong teddy, cheese, goldilocksing the most comfortable place to sleep, and wallowing in the river. Her interest in roadside drains led me to believe she would have been a drainage engineer had she been human.

The long legged supermodel of dogs, shaggy blonde Harper was a persistently cheerful adventure buddy. She knew how to get what she wanted through pure love and the strategic use of what I called the ‘magic carpet’, a mat near the back door that she sat on when she wanted something. And she was not averse to a little bossiness – about which walk we’d go on, or whether she’d received her quota of treats, or back rubs each day. 

She had a way of winning people over and the number of friends who came to visit in her final weeks is testament to her impact. One text I received encapsulates the influence she had in her short life:

Hey dear Rachel. You and Harper were on my mind all day, and I just wanted to send you our love. I am so sorry that you had to say goodbye to each other, what a beautiful relationship you shared. I am so grateful to Harper for being the reason we became friends, and for Harper’s ability to help our dog Ruby experience joy with another dog. Harper’s ability to create safety extended not only with Ruby but also to our son, who proudly has built the courage to give her a pat. With love and gratitude to you both 💚

I am grateful to the support I received from friends and Dr Alison the vet from Rest Your Paws who supported us in Harper’s final weeks. A lot of people and animal friends contributed to making Harper’s end of life journey memorable, and as joyful and comfortable as possible. One friend (and dog sitter) came to be with us in our final hours, and was a beautiful quiet presence. Another friend wrote a two page letter to Harper, a short excerpt follows:

Thank you for the joy you bring us. For the unconditional love. For being you – magnificent you, regal, oversize, for setting the pace with your elegant trotting on walks. Thank you for the way you lean into us to get a better back scratch, to show your affection.

And to all the wonderful friends who understand the grief of losing a furry friend, and that they are never with us for long enough, I am thankful for your love and wishes.

Most of all I am grateful to my soul dog Harper for teaching me so much, being faithfully by my side through some of life’s greatest challenges and constantly reminding me of life’s joy. You were worth every second of our years together. Thank you for your big love when I most needed it, you left a legacy that will last so much longer than your too short life.

RIP my sweet big girl Harper: 9 March 2018 – 11 March 2025 

Artist and muse

O! for a muse of fire, that would ascend the brightest heaven of invention.

William Shakespeare

A friend and I made the trek out to Bunjil Place at Naree Warren to see the Archibald Prize and hear a couple of the artists and their subjects in conversation as part of Melbourne Writers Festival.

Kim Leutwyler painted both artist Shane Jenek’s (aka Courtney Act) personas. The work itself is an expression of gender and queerness using a blend of realism and abstraction.

James Powditch pursued chief political correspondent for ABC-TV’s 7.30 and president of the National Press Club, Laura Tingle, determined to capture the fearless political journalist and snippets of the woman behind the image. Her face is superimposed over a collage that includes various pieces of her work including a script from 7.30 and a page from her Quarterly Essay.

As a portrait prize, the Archibald is the perfect vehicle to prompt conversation and thought about the concept of ‘the muse’. In its most basic sense the ‘muse’ is that which inspires the artist. The word has its roots in Greek mythology with Zeus’ daughters forming the nine Muses who presided over the arts and science.

Traditionally the muse was romanticised as the beautiful young woman sitting (and often suffering) for the older male artist who objectified her whilst her own talents were overlooked. To gaze upon an object with such intensity and time lends itself to an intense emotional relationship – think Picasso and Marr, or Auguste Rodin and Camille Claudel, but the power relations are curious. How much is due to admiration, the artistic form or gender dynamics?

I am my own muse. I am the subject I know best. The subject I want to better.

Frida Kahlo

Writers including including Helen Garner (mixed medium on linen by Katherine Hattam) and a nude Benjamin Law (oil on canvas by Jordan Richardson) also posed for the Archibald and literature has had its own famous muse relationships. Think Vita Sackville-West and Virginia Woolf, Charles Dickens and Ellen Ternan, Zelda Sayre and F. Scott Fitzgerald.

Of course not all artist-muse stories left the female muse as an objectified shadow of the artist. Yates fell for English born-Irish revolutionary and feminist icon, Maud Gonne. A firebrand who refused four proposals from Yates because she didn’t want to be tied to a man and he wasn’t Catholic. Yates remained infatuated for five decades, producing a significant work of yearning poetry as a result.

Perversity is the muse of modern literature.

Susan Sontag

Contemporary writers often talk of the muse as a spirit presence that offers inspiration rather than an embodied being and we are commonly advised ‘don’t wait for the muse, start writing and they will show up!’

Show up, show up, show up, and after a while the muse shows up, too. If she doesn’t show up invited, eventually she just shows up.

Isabel Allende

At a Varuna writing residency a few months ago, I found the beauty of the National park became my muse as my daily sojourns provided the creative inspiration to motivate me to complete the first draft of my current manuscript, Gallows Tree. One particularly gruelling outing involving the Furber Steps even surfaced an ending I had not expected.

If you ever venture out to Bunjil Place I can also recommend a short trip further down the road to The Courthouse, next to the Berwick Post Office for a funky cocktail and tapas

Diary of a Varuna writer residency

Sunday 12th June Day 1: Road Trip

Old mate and I went for a walk in the rain before I dropped her off with friends, packed up Pearl and turned her nose up the Hume toward Katoomba . I listened to the beautifully crafted Beekeeper of Aleppo by Christy Lefteri on my four hour drive to my overnight stop at Holbrook – best known for its resident Oberon-class submarine, a curious addition for a town 250km from the ocean. Apparently the towns namesake was a decorated wartime submarine captain.

Monday 13th June Day 2 : Varuna

Words: 29; walk: 3.34 km

I left sleepy Holbrook at 8am and drove north stopping only for petrol. Art Malik finished reading the Beekeeper of Aleppo just as I approached Katoomba.

After being shortlisted for a Varuna Fellowship in 2020, I was fortunate to be invited to a weeks residency. At the time I couldn’t go for obvious reasons (COVID lockdowns) and thought I’d lost the opportunity until I was contacted again earlier this year and offered a spot in June. I arrived as excited as a puppy at a picnic.

I unpacked my gear into the Bear Room overlooking the comings and goings of a shed labelled ‘office’ and a stand of what appeared to be either ghost or lemon scented gums. I wanted to shake off the hours of driving so headed out for a short walk in the direction of Cascade Falls. Very soon there were a lot of ‘oh wows’ going through my head as I turned corner after corner of spectacular scenery.

In the evening we gathered in the library room for introductions. Six writers – poets, and authors of young adult fiction, speculative fiction, gothic and crime fiction. It felt almost decadent to talk about little except writing over curries – something that rarely happens in non-writer company. The creative vibe was inspiring and I confess, my mind did keep slipping to how great a setting the house would be for a work of crime fiction…maybe one day.

It’s fair to say my creativity has been patchy of late. The novel I am working has been in progress for longer than I care to admit. I estimated I had about 20,000 words to finish the first draft and set myself a target to write 1,000 words in the morning, then permit myself a walk before returning to the desk to write more. I wanted to get cracking and make the most of this week.

Tuesday 14th June Day 3

Words: 2,408; walk: 4.78km

The book shelves in the Bear Room were conveniently lined with my genre – crime, suspense and thrillers…bwha…ha…haaa…and the outlook was excellent for ‘keeping an eye on things’…again great inspiration for a crime writer because we are nosy parkers. Though, I did select a tomb on Jung to prop up my laptop to symbolically inspire my subconscious.

The sun streamed through the window, deliciously warming despite the frost on the ground outside. I knocked out 1,200 words (in which I had to kill off one character) and then headed out for a walk. The Round Walking Track to Katoomba Falls takes you through lush rainforest, intermittently revealing spectacular views across the valley to the far off cliffs of the Katoomba escarpment, the Three Sisters and Wishes Leap. What a magical and inspiring location – both the house and the natural surrounds. I was definitely in my happy place.

After a couple of years of struggling to get time to write, it was so satisfying to see those words climb. We gathered by the fire in the evening and had another lovely meal and stimulating conversations. I felt quite blessed.

Wednesday 15th June Day 4

Words: 2,123; walk: 6.81km

Another perfect day dawned. The sun was shining and the air crisp. Words didn’t flow quite so smoothly this morning but I kept my bum planted till I hit 1,000 then headed out on my walk. I ambled 7km along the cliff walk to Echo Point Lookout and the Three Sisters then on towards Leura Falls to Carrington Park, cutting back through the town of Katoomba to Varuna. Walking alone through the forests was great inspiration as large parts of my novel are set in the forests of East Gippsland.

Thursday 16th June Day 5

Words: 970; walk 6.85 km

I was fidgety in the morning so set off on my walk a bit early and returned to pick up where I had left off the previous day to visit the Leura Falls. Then I crossed a creek (nearly fell in) and clambered up a little used goat track up a steep wooded hill to the east side of Katoomba and wandered back to Varuna through streets lined with tiny houses. It was not such a productive day with the external world intruding on my thoughts, but I still got a little done.

We writer residents started sharing readings in the evenings after dinner. So wonderful to hear what my comrades are working on in their rooms overlooking the garden.

Friday 17th June Day 6

Words: 1,852; walk 8.42km

In the morning I continued to feel distracted which interrupted my flow, flitting from one thought to another, unable to settle into writing. I was so close to finishing the first draft, but the last two chapters were eluding me even though I knew more or less what would happen. So I abandoned my computer and headed out. It was no meander. I went deep into the forest, and myself, to gaze up at the rock formations I had looked down upon yesterday.

As I descended the Furber steps to the sound of lyre birds in the undergrowth and the sight of plant life clinging to rock faces that would make mountain climbers squirm, I contemplated the ending to the story I was working on. On the path to Echo Point along the Federal Pass track I brushed past some of the biggest tree ferns I have ever seen and touched the giant Turpentine Tree (Syncarpia glomulifera).

It is hard not to weep at such grand beauty – the big and the small of it – when you know as a race we are hell bent on destroying it. Of course what goes down must come up and the fire in my thighs may have contributed to my tears. I wrote notes for the last page of the first draft of my second book on my phone when I stopped for a breather on the way back up the 1,000 metre ascent . When I reached to Varuna in my sweat soaked clothes I sat down and wrote almost 2,000 words in two hours!

Saturday 18th June Day 7

Words 972; walk 7.52 km

I typed THE END on my first draft at 11.27 am and headed out. My intension was an easy shortish walk as my calves were feeling the stair climbs from the previous day, but the beauty of the forest draws you in. I crossed town to Carrington Park and walked the Leura Cascades Fern Bower circuit via the Amphitheatre track, a 4.5km loop with a 1,000 metre drop in elevation and spectacular waterfalls and gorgeous scenic views of the Jamison Valley – which of course you have to climb out of again. I returned via the Prince Henry cliff walk and arrived back at Varuna 2.5 hours later, happily exhausted.

It is the last night for one of our group members, so we celebrated after dinner by sharing readings late into the night from the material we had been working on, admired authors and poets. We had all relaxed into one anothers company and started to open up. I felt privileged to have gotten to know this group of talented creatives a little.

Sunday 19th June Day 8

Scene inventory of chapters 1- 3; walk 6.42 km

I woke at dawn, made coffee and sat at my desk looking out over the winter garden with cool air filtering in the open window. There was frost on the ground but the sky was crystal blue. My calves and thighs were satisfyingly tired from all the walking, which is such an important part of my process. It was my last writing day and I started a scene inventory to begin analysing my draft and answering these questions:

  • are there any scenes missing?
  • any important scenes summarised rather than written in detail – think character development
  • left any plot elements out?
  • have I summarised any key moments which should be a scene?
  • have I put scenes in the wrong place?
  • Have I left some elements of scenes out?
  • Does the flow of the story work?
  • Are there any gaps?
  • Will readers follow the logic?

I stayed up high on my walk when I went out to give my legs a rest from stair climbing. I ambled along the back roads to Narrow Neck lookout and back via Cliff Drive and Prince Henry cliff walk. The five of us remaining at Varuna wandered into town and had a lovely meal at a pub in Katoomba.

Monday 20th June Day 9 – homeward bound

I awoke to a morning of mist and drizzle and realised how lucky I was to have a week of such fine weather in a mountain winter. I said my farewells and headed through the mountains and south back toward my way stop at Holbrook.

I discovered something new about Holbrook whilst I was at Varuna. A large submarine is not the towns only quirk. One of my companions was a speculative fiction writer and has been researching cryonics – the preserving of the human body and/or brain after death in liquid nitrogen for a future awakening when (if?) science works how to do it with memories and a sense of self intact. It turns out Australia’s first cryonics storage facility was recently built at Holbrook.

After arriving mid-afternoon I went for a walk along the main street and was struck by the unusual number of friendly older gentlemen getting around on mobility scooters. As with many country towns, Holbrook has a shrinking population and many empty shops on the main street, though her former glory can still be seen in the fading old buildings. The shops that remain have a distinctive 1950’s feel to them and there is a mustiness about the place. I did ask a couple of people about the cryonics centre and received pretty much the same response from all accompanied by a derisive smirk – that yes a cryonics facility had been built in the town but no one seemed to know where it was located.

What a wonderful week it has been with about 10,000 words written and 50km traversed through stunning landscapes. The writerly company and their words were exceptional, though what’s said a Varuna stays at Varuna. A heartfelt thanks to Varuna for the opportunity for a phenomenal, inspiring and nurturing week.

Tuesday 21st June – Arriving home a little changed

I left Holbrook early and drove straight through to Melbourne. The experience at Varuna has left me invigorated about my writing and determined to make an effort to carve out regular time for my creative writing life. I hope to get back there again sometime, but its nice to be home with my pal.

Photos: taken with iPhone SE (second generation)

Book review: Honeybee by Craig Silvey

Heart wrenchingly sad, tender and beautiful, Honeybee is the coming of age story of Sam Watson, a fourteen year old boy with gender dysphoria on the cusp of puberty. The book opens with Sam standing on the wrong side of the railings of an overpass, driven to despair by his ‘otherness’ and the hurt and rejection that he has already been subject to because he is different in a society that cannot tolerate diversity.

It was very timely reading this book whilst the Australian Parliament argued over the so called ‘religious freedom bill’, that if passed, would favour the protection of religious people over rights of LGBTI folk – particularly trans kids and allow religious institutions to discriminate against those who do not conform to their particular principles. The bill was debated a week after one christian school had asked parents to sign an enrolment contract that referred to homosexuality as a sin – including it in a list of ‘immoral’ behaviour alongside bestiality, incest and pedophilia. The outrage that followed caused the school to withdraw the letter.

All these vitriolic shenanigans are backlash following the 2017 same sex marriage vote from a small group of the not so loving (hateful) faithful who still struggle to accept that humanity is a broad, diverse church – and that is ok. I have waxed lyrical about this before. Some people just love to hate, but fortunately a few politicians voted with their conscience resulting in the bill being shelved…for now.

…back to Honeybee. Sam grew up in poverty with a single mum he adored but who suffered from addiction issues and falling for abusive, criminal men. Sam is too gentle for this life. Whilst standing on the bridge he sees an older man, Vic, also standing on the wrong side of the railings. The meeting prevents both from following through their intentions and the two becomes friends – finding in one another a reason to keep living, and Sam finds his logical family.

Honeybee is a book about what and unaccepting society does to people who are different, and how love and acceptance can change an outsiders trajectory to one of self-discovery and self-acceptance. Here’s hoping that religious freedom bill gathers dust on the shelf until the silverfish are sated.

Honeybee has been subject to some debate over the efficacy of the story because ‘it was written by a cis man using predictable tropes’ – there is a view that writers should only write from their own experience and leave own voices to tell their stories themselves. My concern is that this limitation could result in very little on mainstream shelves about diversity, and marginal groups need allies to help drive change in mainstream hearts. Personally I was moved by Honeybee, it made me feel a lot of things and I wanted Sam to be ok, so that’s a good thing.