Published in 1956 and set in Paris, Giovanni’s Room by James Baldwin is a story about forbidden desire, guilt, shame and self discovery. It is also a story about what happens when fear prevents you from loving another.

Confusion is a luxury which only the very, very young can possibly afford and you are not that young anymore

American expatriate, David moves to Paris and starts a relationship with a woman called Hella. They begin to plan a future together but she has to go to Spain to work. In her absence David develops feelings for an Italian bartender called Giovanni. Their connection is electric and a passionate love affair blooms in Giovanni’s cramped living quarters.

People who believe that they are strong-willed and the masters of their destiny can only continue to believe this by becoming specialists in self-deception.

David is deeply ashamed by his feelings to the point of despising them, but is unable to resist Giovanni’s pull. It is this shame, driven in part by the oppressive societal views toward homosexuality that leads to tragedy.

And with every step I took it became more impossible for me to turn back. And my mind was empty—or it was as though my mind had become one enormous, anaesthetized wound. I thought only, One day I’ll weep for this. One of these days I’ll start to cry.

The prose in Giovanni’s Room is poetic and intense, and the story is heartbreaking. At only 150 pages, it is an impressively emotional rollercoaster of a book with an atmosphere of dread.